I am just about at my wit’s end, and I can’t wait to tell you why. It’s so ridiculous that I actually love to share this story as often as possible, just to see the look on people’s faces. My troubles began the very day that I moved into my current house. I should have known as I unloaded boxes from the moving truck that there was something wrong with my next door neighbor. He stood outside and peered at our driveway, occasionally coming close enough to inspect our belongings without saying a word. I thought he was a bit of a weirdo, but was too distracted with setting up the house to pay much attention. It was a week later when I caught him looking at our central cooling system in the backyard that I first became concerned. When I went outside to ask what he was up to, he simply held up a toolbox and informed me that he was interested in our central AC unit. He mumbled something about an inherent interest in home heating and cooling systems and gave me the impression that he often tinkered with AC units and furnaces. This was all well and good – I’m glad he had a fun hobby, even if it was involving home ventilation systems – but what wasn’t acceptable was his apparent obsession with MY air conditioner and furnace. Before long, I was finding him stooped next to the old AC unit every week or so. Sometimes he mounted a ladder and started inspecting the air intake vents. He even tried several times to come inside my house, where he wandered immediately towards the furnace cabinet. I don’t know if this is a compulsion or a kink, but either way, this guy needs to keep his paws off my air quality equipment.